10 Rules For Conversation Chemistry
Wouldn’t it be great to know what is going on inside the mind of the person you are interviewing (or negotiating) with? Purposeful Job Search will teach you important forms of communication to create and maintain the relationships you want in business and your personal life to get everyone you know helping you with your job search or next promotion.
Can you guess what the most common characteristic of any successful relationship is?
If your answer had anything to do with good communication, you’re spot on. Communication is important for the sustaining of not only a healthy relationship, but also a healthy community and even nation.
In fact, one of the first things that enemies seek to do to one another as soon as a war starts is to break down the other side’s communication centers.
Without effective communication, any relationship, community or even nation is destined to come to an end.
So let’s look at the golden rules of communication so that you can use them to build better relationships in your life:
Compassion is the foundation of any healthy relationship.
Compassion helps you to seek to understand people over trying to disagree with them for the sake of proving yourself right and them wrong. Compassion also helps you to listen past a person’s spoken words and to hear the meaning behind them.
To practice greater compassion, focus on the emotional needs of the person you are communicating with: the needs for certainty, significance, purpose and variety.
2. Good Listening
There’s a reason why you have two ears and one mouth, and that’s because listening is at least twice as important as talking.
People who talk a lot and listen very little usually don’t learn a whole lot, especially about the people around them.
If you make a habit of listening to people and turning off your inner dialogue about what you’re going to say next, you’ll become much better at understanding people and communicating with them.
Good communication requires you to take responsibility for your own perceptions and to allow other people to be responsible for their perceptions.
Any attempt to overstep these boundaries will cloud your understanding and keep you from effectively communicating with the other person.
Think of the word “Responsibility” – break it down into two words, “RESPONSE and ABILITY”
Responsibility = RESPONSE + ABILITY
Communication requires good listening skills, but it also requires the ability to make yourself understood by the other person.
Reciprocity allows you to do this and also gives you the opportunity to repeat what you believe the person is saying to you and clarify with THEM that you understand them.
Few things prevent clear communication more than dishonesty. Transparency in your communication and relationships is key to coming across as being totally honest.
If you or the person you are communicating with are leaving out important facts, giving the wrong impression or just flat-out lying, the communication between the two of you will suffer.
Consistency means practicing the principles of good communication on a regular basis. People want to know they can count on you. They want to know you will do what you say you will do, and if you can’t do what you said you would do communicate the change immediately. Consistency is key and communicating an unexpected inconsistency, although difficult, will help you build trust in your communications.
People and circumstances are changing on a consistent basis and you must practice communicating with the people who are important in your life so that the relationship can grow and mature.
As mentioned before, it’s important that you are clear in communicating yourself to the person who is listening to you.
Sometimes, lack of understanding happens because the person you’re talking to is a poor listener … but it should never be because you are unclear about your perspective or whatever else you’re trying to communicate to them.
TIP: The best way to practice clarity of communication is to keep a journal of your thoughts and write in it every day. Have you read Live Your Dream: Goalsetting For Personal Success? Read More About It HERE (Amazon)
Humor makes communication interesting and exciting, and tasteful use of it can add a lot of life and dimension to your conversations. Just make sure that you know when to use humor and when not to.
9. Problem Solving
Much of the communication you engage in your life will be for the sake of coming up with a creative solution to some kind of problem.
Good problem-solving skills are required for you to be adept at the skills of listening, compassion, reciprocity and clarity.
Need something to help you with problem-solving? An easy problem-solving template is explained in the book, Live Your Dream! Get started TODAY.
The author Napoleon Hill said that ‘disloyalty marks a person as low as the dust of the earth’.
When you speak to other people, make sure that you’re speaking to them in a manner in which you would expect people to speak to you. Most importantly, always speak about people in their absence as if they could hear you.
Remember to check out Purposeful Job Search to improve your communication skills and create and maintain the relationships you want in your personal life and in your business life:
Deborah Clarke, Author
Purposeful Job Search & Live Your Dream
Find them on Amazon.com/Author/Deborah Clarke
Best Selling Author, Deborah Clarke
Deborah Clarke is an Author, Career Launch Coach, CPA, CMA, MBA, Entrepreneur. She spent 15 years as a University, College Recruiter, Career Advisor and Lecturer. Chasing success and happiness has been a lifelong theme for Deborah. She started setting goals when she was only 12 years old, by age 26 she felt her life was being scripted like the end of a fairy-tale book when they say, ‘… and they lived happily ever after.’ With all of her major goals to date caught up, she struggled to know what success and happiness should look like moving forward. Her struggles turned into research and writing and Live Your Dream was born. Now, 30 years later, with her family grown she retired from the corporate world and has returned to her entrepreneurial roots and writing. More than chasing success and dreams, Clarke is focusing on making memories. The result is an amazing set of Live Your Dream books that will inspire you to define what success and happiness truly means to you and in that find… Read More